When Maya was younger (let's say 4 and younger) she had a very difficult time not getting what she wanted RIGHT THEN. Not just the typical toddler/preschool protests either, but often crowd-stopping screaming and kicking and sometimes hitting herself. This past year she has gotten worlds better with understanding concepts such as first/then, maybe later, tomorrow, when it gets dark, after we go to the store, etc. She is getting much better at being calm realizing that she will get what she wants at some point in the future and not right now. This may seem like a small thing, but it has helped calm our lives down quite a bit. There are a lot of things she wants to do or is looking forward to, and we have started to draw little pictures and write down things that are fun on a big desktop calendar. That helps Maya see how many days she has until something she is excited about happens. We put a picture of a school bus on the days she has school and a picture of pancakes on the weekends/days off (that is our symbol for those days). Then we put a little picture of anything special we have planned like a trip to the museum or zoo or a camping trip. This has had an amazing impact on Maya's understanding of elapsed time and her patience level for waiting for fun things. She often suggests the fun things herself too, which helps her to feel like she has more control over her own life and that her wishes are taken into consideration by the family.
Now she is very excited to go on the airplane and go to Maryland. I tell her we are going in July, and because of the calendar, she seems to have a fairly good idea of when July is. I think this would work for all young kids, but especially those who are language delayed and/or seem to have a poor grasp of elapsed time. Having a better grip on what is going to happen and when it is going to happen seems to calm all kids, but especially those who are prone to anxiety when they do not know what is going to happen. Older kids might have fun putting their own events and pictures on the calendar. The photo is not our actual calendar, but one like it from Google Images.
I do this with my kids too. Stephen, 4 who is one of my Aspies seems to have no concept of time either, he seems to do better if I use phrases like after such and such is over then we can do such and such, but anything beyond that he doesn't quite get yet. He is a funny kid. When you come to MD we should get together! Sometimes it is nice to just have other kids to play with that kind of think the same way and aren't bothered by idiosyncrasies and quirkiness. KWIM? Where is Maya on the spectrum?
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She is fairly mild. Her big struggles are with receptive language and dealing with the frustration that comes with her brain moving faster than her words do. She is actually fairly flexible and social now, but still speaks in choppy sentences or short phrases. She has started to become more conversational, but it is still a struggle. We should get together. We usually go to NC from MD, so we will have to see how long we are out, but I totally know what you mean about playing with kids (and moms) who understand. Thanks for visiting the blog!
ReplyDeleteShe can also have pretty wicked tantrums from time to time, but those are becoming much fewer and farther between. Her kindergarten teacher, aids and classmates have been wonderful. She also had an awesome 2 years in developmental preschool. We still keep in touch with her teacher and one of the aids is our babysitter. She is in a self-contained kindergarten class for kids on the spectrum, but they do a lot with the mainstream kinders. She gets tons of one-on-one and small group attention and has learned so much socially and academically.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a brilliant Mom! That is a great idea, my kids would love that too. It is amazing how well Maya is doing, but with her parents, I should not be surprised. ;) I am SO jealous that I don't get to see you and Rach this summer. Maybe someday.
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